Jason and the Argonauts – sounds like a good name for a band, but it’s not a band. In Ancient Greece, Jason sailed away in his ship, the Argos, to find the Golden Fleece. While en route for many years through various storms and troubles, the crew had to replace every part of the ship. So the ship that sailed home was not quite the original Argos per se but she was still the Argos, since everything had been replaced little by little, keeping the ship intact.
When first diagnosed with AIDS, the idea of creating an Argos, a vehicle that would carry a positive crew along on its mission, with replaceable parts, intrigued me. I envisioned first a band, since I had played in bands all my life. This band would be an expression of our unique experience as people with AIDS: plague victims, diseased pariahs, and all those nasty things people were calling us in the 80s and early 90s.
There being little hope then that anyone with AIDS could survive, the idea was that as one band member died, another HIV positive one would replace him/her and so the band, the vehicle of our expression, as it were, would continue, although the personnel would have to be replaced as needed.
I intended to call my Argos, “Positive Being,” and the songs would reflect my perspective on dealing with dis-ease in our lives. Well, that never happened.
Instead, I decided to make Positive Being not just an expression but an embodiment of that perspective and so Positive Being, the organization was born. What shape it was to take was determined, like so many things are, by fate.
When I lost my eyesight in a drug trial (we were all guinea pigs then), I discovered massage as a way back into my body and back into life. Both getting and giving massage was such a life-giving experience for me that it helped me get out of my isolation and finally give form to Positive Being – as an organization that would bring touch to those with AIDS. I wanted to focus on those who might otherwise not have access to healing touch - mainly those on government disability, which I knew from my own situation, was hardly enough to live on in San Francisco.
After I had received my certification in Swedish and Deep Tissue massage I banded together some of my massage colleagues, found a fiscal sponso and Positive Being was born. We did our first massage in January of 2000 and have been going strong ever since.
Several years into the project, we applied for and eventually (after jumping through many hoops) garnered our own 501(c)(3) status. Every year we’ve grown a little – not too fast, since we wanted to remain a totally volunteer-run organization. All the money we raise goes back into providing services for our clients – no one gets paid (not even yours truly the Executive Director).
Positive Being reflects my perspective in many ways. It is an organization for the community, of the community and by the community. It proves that touch can be a healing tool – the most hands-on approach to medicine I know. It shows that a dying man, dismissed as an idealist, can realize his dream and have an on-going reason to live. It manifests my belief that culture and healing and all good stuff trickles up, not down. The “little people” are the ones who create and maintain culture, whether it be a culture of healing, of art, music, whatever. The so-called powers that be do not; they are concerned only with preserving their so-called power – they are the consumers, not the creators. We don’t have to buy into their bullshit or wait for their crumbs to trickle down. We the people have the power to lift ourselves - and our communities - up through our own compassion, courage and effort.
To me, Positive Being is not just an organization dedicated to improving the lives of those with HIV, it’s a symbol, like the Argos. It’s the ship that’s taking us toward the prize, the Golden Fleece, the future we create for ourselves.
